You ask me why I take my pills
I say, “Cause I feel sad
”And scared, and sometimes really ill”
You say you understand
But you are only nine years old
So I don’t breathe a word
About the things you can’t be told
The things you’ve never heard

I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Demons in my head
All the things I dread
When I lie awake in bed, no
I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Demons in my head
You must never know
I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Devil in my brain
The torture and the pain
The fear I’ll go insane, no
I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Devil in my brain
Just hope someday he’ll go

You ask why I need therapy
I say, “To talk it out”
You ask what do I need to speak
To some strange man about?
But you are only nine years old
So I just shrug and smile
And keep the things you can’t be told
Inside another while

I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Demons in my head
All the things I dread
When I lie awake in bed, no
I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Demons in my head
You must never know
I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Devil in my brain
The torture and the pain
The fear I’ll go insane, no
I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Devil in my brain
Just hope someday he’ll go

I know ‘cause you are very bright
Someday you’ll understand
I hope that you don’t see the night
And learn these things first hand
For you are everything to me
My sun, my stars, my moon
So I won’t set my demons free
Just hope they leave me soon

I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Demons in my head
All the things I dread
When I lie awake in bed, no
I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Demons in my head
You must never know
I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Devil in my brain
The torture and the pain
The fear I’ll go insane, no
I can’t tell you ‘bout the
Devil in my brain
Just hope someday he’ll go

You can tell me you hate me
And tell me I’m a bad mum
But I’m still so proud
Of the girl you’ve become
You can scream in my face
You can push me away
But it doesn’t matter
Yeah it’s still okay
You can be fierce and rough
And spiky and cold
And a pain in the butt
Cos you’re 13 years old
Yeah you’re meant to be angry
You’re meant to rebel
So let it all out girl
And make my life hell

Whatever you do, I still love you
I’m sorry, it’s true, I still love you
You’re driving me mad, I still love you
You’re making me sad, I still love you
You kick me and miss, I still love you
You flail with your fists, I still love you
You say I can’t rap, I still love you
Say my records are pap, I still love you

You’ve had good reason
To be hopping mad
You were seventeen months old
When I left your dad
You saw your parents
Full of anger and hate
We couldn’t patch things up
It was too late
Then he went and started
A new family
It wasn’t easy for you
It wasn’t easy for me
You’ve had a challenge
At every stage
So I ain’t gonna judge you
For being in a rage

Whatever you do, I still love you
I’m sorry, it’s true, I still love you
You’re driving me mad, I still love you
You’re making me sad, I still love you
You kick me and miss, I still love you
You flail with your fists, I still love you
You say I can’t rap, I still love you
Say my records are pap, I still love you

When you get the hump
There’s no talking you round
Humour and kindness
Are thin on the ground
But I know you love me
I remember, you see
That frightening night
I spent in A&E
We thought my heart failed
We thought I was dying
You were hysterical
Screaming and crying
So I know your toughness
Is all a facade
Inside you’re soft
It’s just outside you’re hard

Whatever you do, I still love you
I’m sorry, it’s true, I still love you
You’re driving me mad, I still love you
You’re making me sad, I still love you
You kick me and miss, I still love you
You flail with your fists, I still love you
You say I can’t rap, I still love you
Say my records are pap, I still love you

You soar like a butterfly
Make daytime out of night
Lighting the coral sky
So beautiful and bright
You soar like a butterfly
Angelic, full of grace
Your mischievous amber eyes
The smile upon your face

 And I will always love you
’Til the stars fade into black
And I will always love you
Life begins when you come back
And I will always love you
’Til the sun explodes the sky
And I will always love you
My sweet darling butterfly

You take refuge in my arms
I’ve never felt so glad
To be shelter from the storm
To save you feeling sad
Your shimmering golden skin
Your caramel streaked hair
I never thought my darkness
Would birth a girl so fair

 And I will always love you
’Til the stars fade into black
And I will always love you
Life begins when you come back
And I will always love you
’Til the sun explodes the sky
And I will always love you
My sweet darling butterfly

Your face always in a book
A concentrated frown
So vivid and so colourful
So up and rarely down
The world it is drawn to you
You sparkle like the sea
I’m blessed to belong to you
You’re everything to me

And I will always love you
’Til the stars fade into black
And I will always love you
Life begins when you come back
And I will always love you
’Til the sun explodes the sky
And I will always love you
My sweet darling butterfly

 And I will always love you
’Til the stars fade into black
And I will always love you
Life begins when you come back
And I will always love you
’Til the sun explodes the sky
And I will always love you
My sweet darling butterfly

 And I will always love you
’Til the stars fade into black
And I will always love you
Life begins when you come back
And I will always love you
’Til the sun explodes the sky
And I will always love you
My sweet darling butterfly

You could be a pop star
You could be a scientist
You could be anything
Why not make a big long list?
You could be a model
You could do art
You could do anything
‘Cause you’re really smart
You could be a doctor
You could be a nurse
You could be a poet
Writing funny verse
You could be an architect
And design houses
Or do fashion
Lots of tops and trousers

All I want you to be is happy, is happy
All I want you to be is happy

You could be a lawyer
You could be a judge
You could be a chocolatier
Busy making fudge
You could be a writer
You’re definitely able
You could be a carpenter
It’s all on the table
You could be a pharmacist
Dealing out drugs
You could be a teacher
And get lots of hugs
You could make bread and
Spend life baking
You could be anything
It’s there for the taking

All I want you to be is happy, is happy
All I want you to be is happy

You are the best thing in the whole wide world
And it is your oyster, my beautiful girl
Do what you love and your life will be great
I can’t wait to see what you do, because I love you

You could be an actor
Go on stage
You could be anything
At your tender age
You could be a gymnast
Or a surveyor
You could be a darts
Or a football player
You could be a DJ
Spinning the decks
Or an optician
Fitting people’s specs
You could be a firefighter
Putting out fires
You could be a boss
Anything your heart desires

All I want you to be is happy, is happy
All I want you to be is happy (repeat to fade)

Thought you’d have brown skin
And dark brown eyes
So when I gave birth to you
It was a surprise
You have golden hair
And eyes of green
And the fairest golden skin
That I’ve ever seen

You’re my secret Asian
And I’m so so glad
That you won’t face the racism
That I have had
You don’t look like me
My angel girl
But you’re the soul I love most
In the whole wide world

We don’t look like family
But your nose
And mouth and lashes
All come from me
Your small chin
And your full cheeks
And my daddy gave you
Those caramel streaks

You’re my secret Asian
And I’m so so glad
That you won’t face the racism
That I have had
You don’t look like me
My angel girl
But you’re the soul I love most
In the whole wide world

No spit
Sprayed in your face
No being told to go home
To a faraway place
No cruel taunts
No racist names
No crime or terrorism
Where your race gets the blame

You’re my secret Asian
And I’m so so glad
That you won’t face the racism
That I have had
You don’t look like me
My angel girl
But you’re the soul I love most
In the whole wide world

You’re my secret Asian
And I’m so so glad
That you won’t face the racism
That I have had
You don’t look like me
My angel girl
But you’re the soul I love most
In the whole wide world

You’re my secret Asian
And I’m so so glad
That you won’t face the racism
That I have had
You don’t look like me
My angel girl
But you’re the soul I love most
In the whole wide world

My heart soars, tiny girl
When you’re coming to stay
For the whole weekend
And the holidays
You always bring great style
Wherever you go
You always make me smile
In your tiny clothes

And I say oh-oh-oh, I say ey-ey-ey
Thank you for making mine a sunny day
I say oh-oh-oh, I say ey-ey-ey
Thank you for taking all my blues away

I love you, tiny girl
You’re only four foot five
But you are by far
The best thing in my life
So innocent and sweet
So wholesome and so pure
Loving you completely’s what my life is for

And I say oh-oh-oh, I say ey-ey-ey
Thank you for making mine a sunny day
I say oh-oh-oh, I say ey-ey-ey
Thank you for taking all my blues away

My darling tiny girl
You’re everything to me
I’ll save you from the scary monsters
In your dreams
I’ll chase them ‘til the dawn
So they will leave you be
And all those scary monsters
Gon’ be scared of me

And I say oh-oh-oh, I say ey-ey-ey
Thank you for making mine a sunny day
I say oh-oh-oh, I say ey-ey-ey
Thank you for taking all my blues away

Someday my tiny girl
You’re gonna reach your teens
Then you’ll be embarrassed
To be seen with me
I’ll have to stand two metres
From you in the street
Pretending I don’t know you
If we ever meet

And I say oh-oh-oh, I say ey-ey-ey
Thank you for making mine a sunny day
I say oh-oh-oh, I say ey-ey-ey
Thank you for taking all my blues away

And I say oh-oh-oh, I say ey-ey-ey
Thank you for making mine a sunny day
I say oh-oh-oh, I say ey-ey-ey
Thank you for taking all my blues away

I’m so full of pain
That it spills out of me
I don’t want you to hear
I don’t want you to see
All the screaming in my brain
All the anxiety
All the things I can’t say
All the words I can’t speak
I am not insane
Or at least I don’t think
So I’ll get my pills
And water to drink
Tell me ‘bout your day
As I stand by the sink
And I’ll laugh, dance and play
With Lily the Pink

I’m not normal, not normal
I’ve got bad things in my mind
I’m not normal, not normal
Though I can be sweet and kind
I’m not normal, not normal
I wish I could press rewind
I’m not normal, not normal
So please don’t leave me behind

I’ve been full of pain
Ever since I was three
That’s when my dad
Began hitting me
My mum was so in love
That she didn’t care
She just wanted him
To always be there
She was cold and hard
Loved my sister much more
I spent so much time
Curled crying on the floor
Wishing they were dead
So I could go into care
And have a mum and dad
Who would always be there

I’m not normal, not normal
I’ve got bad things in my mind
I’m not normal, not normal
Though I can be sweet and kind
I’m not normal, not normal
I wish I could press rewind
I’m not normal, not normal
So please don’t leave me behind

When I was 24
Suffered a violent attack
I was pregnant back then
And had to turn back
I couldn’t give my baby
A violent dad
After the childhood
That I had had
It nearly killed me babe
But I’m so glad now
I’d have never had you
So it worked out somehow
But my mind bears the scars
That he left on my face
And it’s all led me here
To this dark lonely place

I’m not normal, not normal
I’ve got bad things in my mind
I’m not normal, not normal
Though I can be sweet and kind
I’m not normal, not normal
I wish I could press rewind
I’m not normal, not normal
So please don’t leave me behind

When you’re alone
In the shadows of your heart
And your life is a mess
Yeah, it’s all fallen apart
And you think it’s the end
And your back’s against the wall
Then I’ll be your best friend
I’ll be there to break your fall

I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there

When you’ve no money left
No love or hope or friends
And your heart it is closed
And you think that it’s the end
And you’re praying to God
Yeah to come and save your soul
Well I’ll save you instead
Bring you in out of the cold

I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there

I can’t bear to think of you
Lost and all alone
For in me, there will be
A place you can call home
Yeah I’ll hold you so tight
And I’ll stroke your silky hair
And I swear on my life
Yeah I promise I’ll be there

I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there
I’ll be there, I’ll be there

In the dark cold night, I’ll be there
In the morning light, I’ll be there
Baby don’t you cry, I’ll be there
Darling dry your eyes, I’ll be there (repeat to fade)

I know I’m not like the other mums
Who hang around the gates at school
I’m not confident and capable
I’m not the very definition of cool
‘Cause you see I wasn’t made that way
I was brought up on abuse and pain
And though I try to pretend I’m fine
It’s still haunting my messed-up brain

I do all I can
To hide it from you
But sometimes I think
That you see through

Well, baby
You know that I’m not well, baby
You know I’ve been to hell and back
And I’m scorched charcoal black
Though my soul is the colour blue
Well, baby
I’d catch you if you fell, baby
I’m trying to be well for sure
‘Cause you’re all I adore
So I’m sticking around for you

I know I’m not like the other mums
Who hang around and gossip together
I’ve never been good at making friends
Or making small talk about the weather
‘Cause you see I wasn’t raised that way
I spent my whole entire childhood alone
And I never knew whether it felt worse
To be hated at school or at home

I do all I can
To hide it from you
But sometimes I think
That you know the truth

Well, baby
You know that I’m not well, baby
You know I’ve been to hell and back
And I’m scorched charcoal black
Though my soul is the colour blue
Well, baby
I’d catch you if you fell, baby
I’m trying to be well for sure
‘Cause you’re all I adore
So I’m sticking around for you

You don’t need to worry about me
‘Cause I’m stable as a mummy can be
Got these pills that keep the sadness away
And with you I know that I’ll be okay

Well, baby
You know that I’m not well, baby
You know I’ve been to hell and back
And I’m scorched charcoal black
Though my soul is the colour blue
Well, baby
I’d catch you if you fell, baby
I’m trying to be well for sure
‘Cause you’re all I adore
So I’m sticking around for you

Well, baby
You know that I’m not well, baby
You know I’ve been to hell and back
And I’m scorched charcoal black
Though my soul is the colour blue
Well, baby
I’d catch you if you fell, baby
I’m trying to be well for sure
‘Cause you’re all I adore
So I’m sticking around for you

Baby, when I was your age
I dreamed of an escape
Because there was no love, no love in my life
I used to misbehave
I longed to run away
Just to find a mum and dad who were kind
When I was your age
My dad flew into rages
Said I was disgusting, sickening and wrong
I thought I was so bad
So violent was my dad
And I let my trauma out in my songs

Better, better
Now I'm better, better
Yeah I'm better
Don’t worry ‘cause I'm better baby now

Baby, when I was your age
So low and so ashamed
I didn’t have a single friend in the world
I starved myself so thin
Carved scars into my skin
Because I thought that pain was all I deserved
When I was your age
I knew things had to change
From violence, pain and hatred that I endured
I dreamed I could create
A whole new world away
And fill it up with love and things I adored

Better, better
Now I'm better, better
Yeah I'm better
Don’t worry ‘cause I'm better baby now
Better, better
Now I'm better, better
Yeah I'm better
I promise that I'm better baby now

Baby, when I was your age
I tried to seek out fame
And soar up as a star in hopes of being loved
But it didn’t work out
And so I settled down
And I became a writer, and then your mum
That brings us up to now
I wish I had known how
Deliriously happy I would be
I have the sweetest girl
In the entire world
Giving her unconditional love to me

Better, better
Now I'm better, better
Yeah I'm better
Don’t worry ‘cause I'm better baby now

Better, better
Now I'm better, better
Yeah I'm better
Don’t worry ‘cause I'm better baby now

I don’t like religion
Its stories are all fiction
But I wrote our story and it came true
I don’t hold with fate
But I couldn’t wait
To ask the universe to make you
It’s probably just chance
Genetics’ random dance
I was ill and so wrong in the head
Are you heaven sent, were you always meant? Without you, I would be dead

You are my miracle, my miracle
Your life saved me (my wonderful, magical girl)
You are my miracle, my miracle
And I believe you were meant to be

I’m not a believer but I dreamt you in a fever
I wished for you and now you are mine
I am a skeptic but that wish was electric
Crossing galaxies and all space and time
I’m not an agnostic
I’m cynical and caustic
But your love makes me question the world
I’m probably just guessing
But I see you as a blessing
My wonderful magical girl

You are my miracle, my miracle
Your life saved mine (my wonderful, magical girl)
You are my miracle, my miracle
To me you’re sacred and divine

I know I’m sounding odd
‘Cause I don’t believe in God
But the power of love is out there
I’m not superstitious but my crazy wish has Brought me happiness beyond compare
We only get one life
And I was going to end mine
But I chose to wait and see you
Life was hanging by a rope
But I held onto my hope
And you made all my dreams come true

I believe in Russell’s teapot
I believe in Occam’s Razor
And I believe that vaccines
Are humanity’s saviour
I always look to science
To provide me with my answers
And I don’t believe that prayer
Can ever cure any cancers
If there’s God why do we suffer
If there’s God why do we fight?
If there’s God why aren’t we better
At protecting human rights?
With endless holy wars
And minorities oppressed
I don’t believe religion
Can be ever for the best

But you are my miracle, my miracle
Your life saved me (my wonderful, magical girl)
You are my miracle, my miracle
And I believe you were meant to be

You are my miracle, my miracle
Your life saved mine (my wonderful, magical girl)
You are my miracle, my miracle
To me you’re sacred and divine

I was lost
Now I’m found
Soaring the skies
Not falling down
I wished for you
You came to be
And nothing ever felt so sweet
As when you slipped
Your hand in mine
Your sticky kisses
Like sunshine
Your eyelash wishes
On the stars
There’ll never be a love like ours

It’s a kaleidoscope of colour
I’m so grateful I’m your mother
I could never love another
Like I love you, like I love you
It’s a kaleidoscope of dreams
Your perfect heart is all it seems
So lucky that you came to be
And I love you, I love you

I was at the nadir
Of my whole life, so full of fear
I was staring in the void
No more hurt, no more noise
I was reaching for a knife
Desperate to end my life
Then I found out you were here
I endured the pain, endured the fear

It’s a kaleidoscope of colour
I’m so grateful I’m your mother
I could never love another
Like I love you, like I love you
It’s a kaleidoscope of dreams
Your perfect heart is all it seems
So lucky that you came to be
And I love you, I love you

I was down
Now I’m up
So full of life
So full of love
I wake each day
So glad to be
Alive and well
You gave to me
A beautiful shiny world
Where nothing aches and nothing hurts
I can’t thank you enough
You are my life, you are my love

It’s a kaleidoscope of colour
I’m so grateful I’m your mother
I could never love another
Like I love you, like I love you
It’s a kaleidoscope of dreams
Your perfect heart is all it seems
So lucky that you came to be
And I love you, I love you

It’s a kaleidoscope of colour
I’m so grateful I’m your mother
I could never love another
Like I love you, like I love you
It’s a kaleidoscope of dreams
Your perfect heart is all it seems
So lucky that you came to be
And I love you, I love you